On March 3, 2019 my worst nightmare became a reality. After receiving a late night voicemail from my 25 year old son who was across the country in Virginia, I couldn't reach him the next morning. I called the police to do a welfare check and was told someone had already called and officers had responded. The dispatch said someone from the scene would call me. My heart was lead. Even before the detective called a few minutes later, I knew. Not even that could prepare me for hearing the words from her - that he had killed himself.
There were so many times I encouraged, demanded, pleaded with him to get help, even offering to pay out of pocket for him to see a therapist. While he wasn't so much influenced by the idea that men don't ask for help, he was working in the hyper masculine environment of Naval Special Warfare, where signs of his struggle with depression were met punitively rather than seeing this out of character behavior as an indicator for intervention.
Normalizing mental health care for men, normalizing mental health care for our military men and women, and improving support and access to emergency mental health care for life-threatening mental illness IS a National health care crisis.
Kaleb rode a Triumph Bonneville, loved bow-ties and being dapper. He was hilarious and so loving, always trying to take care of those around him. He would have absolutely loved and been a part of the Distinguished Gentlemen's Ride.
I ride for Kaleb, and for all men struggling with suicidal ideation, in the hopes that increasing awareness and resources can save even one family from the nightmare of losing someone to suicide.
On Sunday the 23rd of May, I'm riding in The Distinguished Gentleman's Ride with fellow men and women across the globe to raise funds and awareness for prostate cancer and men's mental health on behalf of Movember.
Men die on average 6 years earlier than women and for largely preventable reasons. The number of men that are suffering is growing, and we need to do something about that. So, before I press my tweed and polish my boots, I'm asking you to join me in raising funds and awareness for these causes by donating what you can for this meaningful cause and to help the men we love, live happier and healthier lives.
I see you Battle
We ❤️ You!
Are you the ride host? Is there any plan to have a coordinated ride? Please text me as I have questions and am really looking forward to this fun ride! My son Travis and his pal Nick Breuer and perhaps more will be riding with me so it would be fun to meet up. Hope to touch base; Tim Gubbins 916 759 3926