Julian Lefebvre

Even more real

Saturday 20th Apr 2024

OK....since signing up, news came in about a really clever and hard working guy my wife worked with.... who had an amazing career, an awesome family, the respect of his peers and everything you could hope for and in his mid fifties...at a point where you would think most blokes would sit back and say "I've done it, yay me"....he decides to hang himself. He told close colleagues he would never do that to his kids (because he became depressed and his mates were looking out for him and asked if he was thinking of killing himself) yet it was his 16 year old daughter that found him hanging. He was admitted to hospital but couldn't be saved. Imagine how his daughter will be from now on...never mind the rest of his family and friends. It's just wrong

A man with a successful career, a loving family, a choice of whatever he wanted from the menu....gone by choice. Why?

The sad reality is the biggest stereotype in the world never gets talked about

...like most men, his story will never be heard. Its the same year in year out. Blokes are not heard. They suffer in silence. There's no international men's day. There's no celebration of being a man. Theres only the stereotype of men being strong and the expectation that a man is only a man if he's able to provide. 

It's as abhorrent as the stereotype of a woman minding her place by looking after the home. 

If you're one of those people who think guys are OK because they seem happy, think again. 

Give generously...you're not going to change this stereotype on your own. We need help to build an army...not to defeat the opposition but to defend ourselves. Men need help. Sounds weird but it's true

Why? Because we're worth it

 

 

 

 

Even more real

Saturday 20th Apr 2024

OK....since signing up, news came in about a really clever and hard working guy my wife worked with.... who had an amazing career, an awesome family, the respect of his peers and everything you could hope for and in his mid fifties...at a point where you would think most blokes would sit back and say "I've done it, yay me"....he decides to hang himself. He told close colleagues he would never do that to his kids (because he became depressed and his mates were looking out for him and asked if he was thinking of killing himself) yet it was his 16 year old daughter that found him hanging. He was admitted to hospital but couldn't be saved. Imagine how his daughter will be from now on...never mind the rest if his family and friends. It's just wrong

A man with a successful career, a loving family, a choice of whatever he wanted from the menu....gone by choice. Why?

The sad reality is the biggest stereotype in the world never gets talked about

...like most men, his story will never be heard. Its the same year in year out. Blokes are not heard. They suffer in silence. There's no international men's day. There's no celebration of being a man. Theres only the stereotype of men being strong and the expectation that a man is only a man if he's able to provide. 

It's as abhorrent as the stereotype of a woman minding her place by looking after the home. 

If you're one of those people who think guys are OK because they seem happy, think again. 

Give generously...you're not going to change this stereotype on your own. We need help to build an army...not to defeat the opposition but to defend ourselves. Men need help. Sounds weird but it's true

Why? Because we're worth it

 

 

 

 

Its real, its happening and we all need to talk about it

Wednesday 3rd Apr 2024

In the last year, I've encountered a number of guys who have either been diagnosed with prostate cancer and had treatment or are in the process of getting treatment. From the stories I'm being told, its not something I would want to wish on anyone. I know a lot of effort goes into supporting women but seriously, not enough is being done to support men dealing with cancer. I hope I can count on you to make a difference 

In the same period of time, I've seen some close friends go through some really tough times and now more than ever, I strongly believe that us blokes need to get better at telling people we love and trust, how we're feeling before we go and do something stupid. I know blokes who wish they hadn't done what they've done, because in hindsight - after having talked to someone about how they're feeling, they realise they could have approached the situation differently and not caused so much pain and heartache. There is a better way and we all need to be part of the change.  

Here's some signs that will help you understand if a man is broken

- he will isolate himself, especially from people who love him

- he works more than he speaks

- he always feels drained and exhausted no matter how much sleep he gets

- he gets overly stressed, frustrated and irritated easily

- he will lose interest in a lot of things that he used to really enjoy unless its riding or driving really fast

- he will get stuck in his own head and overthink things, often leading to him shutting down when he's depressed

But if you were to ask him how he is doing, his response will always be "I'm OK" or "I'm good" even though that's the furthest thing from the truth

He does this because he cares more about others than he does for himself and he doesn't want to be a burden to anyone. He would rather suffer in silence whilst he helps them overcome their pain than ever ask for help getting through his own

So I hope you'll all help me make a difference in some blokes lives. 

Why? Because we're worth it! 

 

 

I'm Riding for Men's Health in The Distinguished Gentleman's Ride

Wednesday 3rd Apr 2024 On Sunday the 19th of May 2024, I'm riding in The Distinguished Gentleman's Ride with fellow men and women across the globe to raise funds and awareness for prostate cancer and men's mental health on behalf of Movember. Men die on average 6 years earlier than women and for largely preventable reasons. The number of men that are suffering is growing, and we need to do something about that. So, before I press my tweed and polish my boots, I'm asking you to join me in raising funds and awareness for these causes by donating what you can for this meaningful cause and to help the men we love, live happier and healthier lives.